independence day

i stopped writing this...
shouldn't have stopped though...
leaves you in a vortex...
that, will never be able to redeem it...
will never be able to express...
it in style...
so much has happened...
but feel better to...
become a poem...
rather putting words to it...
it'll be lying...
and the moment i utter a word...
i know...
i just know...
didn't want to say this...
and the more i realize it...
the more i do it...
vulnerable is the word...
shit...
guess, i am doing it again...

oblivion...
that's what i have to...
save myself from...
little things take so much...
of energy...
talking...
like expressing an idea...
or convincing...
these are strange things...
you never know what percieves...
the other mind...
and you can never tell even if...
it takes the argument...
whether it plans to murder you...
or just accept its 'mis'-interpretation...
i just want to see it happen...
the ordeals are much...
but it has to evolve out of it...
then if i slip...
that's another thing...
well, anyway!

while reading about...
practicing 'skylad'...
which means...
working in nude...
on witch vox...
i came across this film...
called the wicker man...
which is apparently...
the most favorite film...
of the pagans...

as i surfed on it...
i found a spray of myth...
around it...
the negatives were destroyed...
while cleaning the racks...
in shepperton studios...
so there are these huge figments...
about the missing footage...
and the whereabouts of...
the filming locations...
like there is this journal called...
NUADA
which is the journal...
especially...
for the film...

another line that i caught...
from witch vox...
from the film...
was kind of nice little tweak...

"But...they...are...naked!"
"Well, naturally! It's far too dangerous to jump
through the fire with your clothes on!"
--Sargent Howie and Lord Summerisle, "The Wicker Man"

would love to check this one out...

the film made me wonder...
about a few things...
in life and otherwise...
strange things were happening...
which just clicked with...
the film...
the gore as anybody would call it...
is not in the blood splattering...
all over...
not how the guy attacks slashes the...
head in a moment...
the violence happens in the mind...
the way you construct an image...
the mind plans immidiately...
and then the body reacts...
on the impulse...
of the mind...
here the screen got slashed...
at the same time...
the heads were getting slaughtered...
somebody got a fracture...
when friends were killing eachother...
in the film/out-side the film...
its all such a sombre comedy...
you laugh at it...
with the way it styles itself...
ultimately...
the ethics are in the impulse...
one can say a lot of things about...
life and how they live it...
but it has to come true...
in actions...
and actions are tests...
of endurance, stupidity, intelligence, style....
fuck everything...
important to accede freindship...
and when you survive it...
save it for you...
and the other...
better to RUN from...
the betrayals...
that are stalking you...
RUN!!

so cute to be...
not be the person exactly...
blogging makes it easier...
and simpler...
very smooth to interchange...
and shift identities...
its beautiful...
the confusion...
and then people presuppose...
and believe in that...
but it can be very...
shaky...
the identities...
:-)

mid dec...
i am looking for spaces...
and people...
for my film...
that i was so...
desparate to make...
i have been hunting...
like a mongrel...
sounds stupid i know...

people going crazy...
slicing their brains...
on hazy conciets...
strange...
the densness...
the intensity...
the gravity of the black hole...
not sombre...
but very surprised...
the way it is...
away from it...
but really apalling!!!

like once in a while...
when i am on the crossroads...
i open and feel like writing...
and then its like...
there's actually a lot...
of dust on the mind...
like that's what this film...
of mine talks about...
what happens when you find the key!!